Don't panic. It is a metaphor, of course. A table usually has four legs. So does my life, at least as I am envisioning it this morning. Okay, maybe tomorrow it will be an umbrella, but today it's a table.
I have a strong sense of the physical; not that I'm a great athlete. In fact I have some arthritis in my knees and ankles. But that doesn't stop me from working out at the gym, or riding my motorcycle, or enjoying sex.
The Spiritual leg is also important. People associate various words with this leg. Some folk talk about "God", others envision a god who sits up in "heaven". There are many names, "Allah", "Gaia", "Paresha", "Shang Ti", etc. But it is not the name, the word, that is important, it is the experience of The Sacred. William James, who wrote the great The Varieties of Religious Experience (Note: not The Varieties of Religions) referred to "The More". Today and for me, a belief in a theistic "god", somewhere out there, is no longer tenable. But there is still something more and something Sacred that I experience in life, in the presence of death and, as much of a cliche as it may be, yes, on looking out at the vistas of Yosemite.
The emotions hold sway over our lives much more than most of us are aware. We learn anger, disgust, joy, and sadness as children. They control much of our existence and interaction with others and the world as a whole. Of course, we recognize our emotions on occasion, but most people live and react with them outside awareness most of the time. Others may recognize Mary's pain far earlier than Mary does. John functions coolly all day at his work, but then lashes out at the cat (Or worse, his wife or children) when he comes home. If someone asks, "John, why are you angry?" The reply may be "What? I'm not angry, the cat was just in the way."
A fourth leg of the table is the cognitive or intellectual. It takes various forms. For some it is directed and instrumental. Much of their cognitive function is "in order to." They need to fix the computer or a broken chair. Some are trying to solve a puzzle, whether Sudoku or space travel. Other's intellectual or cognitive inclination is simply to learn. They are curious about the cosmos, the great unified theory, or--as I tend to be--why people behave, feel and think as they do. My tendency is to want to know everything. (In fact my life motif is "I want to know everything about everything before I die." You needn't remind me of the impossibility of this.)
These table legs are all necessary to having a satisfying life. Most of us have known someone whose legs were unequal, unbalanced. We have all had the experience, in a restaurant, of sitting at a table whose legs were not equal. The table rocks and the coffee or water spills. The same thing happens with the table of life. Our lives can't be "the best that they can be" if they are unbalanced. Worse yet, at some point if one leg is even shorter, the cup will fall off the table, break and spill coffee all over the floor.
Of course in our life table, the legs are all connected by . . . connections. (I can only push the metaphor so far.) Our emotions control our physical, spiritual and intellectual aspects. In turn, cognitive activity controls our emotions. One of the great psychotherapy breakthroughs has been the discovery that emotions are largely learned (cognitive) and that they can be relearned; that we have automatic thoughts and habitual emotional states. It is as though parents teach their children how to feel. "In our family, when we are frustrated, we get angry. That's the Smith family way," or "We are Johnsons. When life is hard, we get sad." It works with the other legs too. Some people think better when they are working hard on the treadmill. Our behavior also controls our emotions and, obviously, our emotions control our behavior.
So what? I've been sitting here for a couple minutes and can't decide how to end this post. The best final message for today is to remind myself to keep my table well balanced and to work at becoming more aware of the legs.
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