Honor

Howard is my friend's 16 year old son. He's in very prestigious school in Vermont. Anne got a phone call from the school. Howard would not be able to remain in school for the last three days of the school year. He was being "expelled" for stealing a carton of ice cream bars from the school cafeteria. He could return for the next year, but on probation.

Anne was, of course, upset with Howard and rained down holy hell on his head. She refused him permission to stay an extra week at a friend's home in Vermont and got him on a plane to California the very next day. She was also upset that the school made such a big deal of a carton of ice cream bars--which, except for one--okay, two, he gave to his friends. She also asked me to talk to Howard when he arrived.

Of course, I did speak to him, but suggested that he didn't need another chewing out. He'd already gotten that from the school headmaster and his mother. I simply told him I was disappointed. It wasn't the ice cream so much but that he acted without honor. His response, "It was onlya box of ice cream bars." It wouldn't have made any difference if it was $5 worth of ice cream or $500 of something else. I hope I conveyed that the most valuable thing lost here was his honor.

When I was in the US Air Force, I attended an officer candidate school. We were told at the first orientation session that being an officer entailed agreeing to an honor code, the same one as West Point. "An officer will not lie, steal or cheat and will not tolerate anyone who does." OCS was cancelled and my group disbanded before I finished, but I've not forgotten that honor code. I know that, in reality, it is often breached. But it is still an idea worthy of civilized people.

Later in the evening as Anne and I were talking, she said she was considering getting Howard a phoney identity card. I never asked why he should even need one. I was surprised and shocked that she would even think of it. How could she not see that she was teaching him to dishonor himself. Why would he not steal a box of ice cream when she was showing him that it is alright to lie and violate the rules.

Honor has become a casualty of our time. There are only a very few people whose word I am able to trust without question or doubt. Recruiters now must cast a skeptical eye on resumes because, it is estimated by experts, 85-90% of all resumes contain serious false statements. Contractors hide behind "small print" and "weasel words." Business people make prevarication into an art form. Large corporations place misleading advertisements claiming to be "green" and then pollute shamelessly. Enron has become a synonym for dishonor.

All this isn't new. It has a long history. What is new is the nonchalance about it. We've come to expect people, businesses, politicians, corporations and even clergy to be dishonorable. We are now at a point where we trust no one; not even our own family, friends, spouse, children or parents.

How did this happen? The world has always had dishonorable people. Often those with the most power have been the most dishonorable. But these, now, are the very people who are celebrated in our economics, politics and media. This has become especially true with the celebration of the "me" epoch, heightened especially with the Reagan era. It is symbolized by the success of the emblematic book of that period, Looking Out for #1, by Robert J. Ringer, published in 1985. It became okay to game the savings and loan industry and let the public pick up the tab. It is now at its peak with the antics of the Enron terrorists and the Bush Crime Family.

If Howard sees this at the highest levels of industry and government, why shouldn't he steal a few bars of ice cream?

Honor is the foundation of trust. Trust is the cement which holds society together. Throughout history, nations, peoples and clans have disintegrated when these have been lost. We are on that path now